There is often a misconception about people who are referred to as angry people or having anger issues. It is usually believed that people exhibiting hostility are infuriated by a particular situation or circumstance. Sometimes, this is true, but more often than not, the anger has become a state-of-being rather than an emotion. In fact, the people who are struggling with their ire rarely feel such a definitive emotion; they have become so accustomed to being in this state that anger becomes their norm.
People who have been said to have anger issues can be misread because we are always looking for the obvious looks and sounds of typical anger. This unfriendly emotion can come out in many unexpected ways. Coping skills can be developed that are less than healthy for everyday relationships and connections with others. Passive-aggressive behavior can be substituted for honest, direct communication, as these people attempt to manipulate friends and family to get what they need or desire. Depression is another outlet for people who don’t know how to express their anger. What we see as sadness is actually wrath focused inward.
Whatever the cause of this frequently deceptive emotion, however we might display our anger, or whichever way we might project it to the outside world, there is hope. Each of us has the ability to recover from being consumed by anger. It does not have to control us to the point of becoming our norm, to the point that we no longer recognize it for what it is. Feeling resentment, frustration, or even infuriation isn’t always a negative thing. We cannot allow ourselves to stuff our anger, refusing to deal with it head-on. God gave us the ability to feel all the ways we do for a reason. In recovery, we learn how to feel angry, as well as sad, happy, thankful, blessed, and then how to let it go. We stop denying this commonly distasteful sentiment, and start looking for more healthy and appropriate expressions that are glorifying to God.
Written by Jackell.