Codependency looks like normal behavior. The reason codependency looks like normal behavior is simply because it is. Codependency is a pattern of this world that’s been disguised to make it look like Godly behavior. When we look underneath its disguise, we see that codependency is a rotting corpse of selfishness and manipulation. Although some relationships may look like they have acceptable behavior, codependency is neither healthy nor appropriate. Because this conduct often masquerades as Christ-like, we can easily overlook the idea that, in reality, it harms both parties involved by interfering in God’s healing process.
When we attempt to play God, through controlling others or trying to fix them, we are saying we know better than God. Our attempts to help others turn into slow-acting poison. We believe our own delusions of being able to fix or control. The more we try to fix, the worse the situation gets. Codependency tells us that our behavior is normal and natural. Codependency is not lying. Our unhealthy, dysfunctional behavior is normal according to the customs and patterns of this world.
Recovery is our opportunity to allow the Holy Spirit to be the ultimate Healer. We step out of the role of playing God, and we allow others to learn from their own mistakes. We discover that if a person fails, it has no bearing on us. We find that failures can be blessings because they are opportunities to experience consequences. When we “pad the corners,” it leads to more hurt and failure. Recovery is a process of learning how to love someone enough to allow them to face the consequences of their behavior. Recovery is also allowing God to be God and not interfering with His healing process.
Written by Jackell