Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. Luke 23:34

On the cross, Jesus asked His Holy Father to forgive those who had beaten, mocked, ridiculed and nailed Him to the cross. And the reason why He asked God to forgive them? Christ said to God “…for they know not what they do.” All those who took part in Jesus’ death, and the ones who were not a part of it, were not aware of what was happening. They were there, they were a part of the entire scenario that unfolded, but they had no understanding of what was happening.

How does this play out in our lives today and in our recoveries? Anyone who has gone through the 12 steps with a sponsor has realized that, before they entered recovery, they were sleepwalking through life. The process of recovery is one of waking up. We become conscious of the ramifications of our actions and we see with new eyes. Often times it can be disturbing for us to realize the things we once thought of as real, belonged only in a fantasy world of our own making.

Waking up from a deep slumber that has lasted our entire lives is exhilarating yet frightening. This real world is one in which we are given an understanding that God is in control. Any control we imagined ourselves to have was a fantasy. Even though we feel our view of life has been turned upside down, God is there to comfort us until we get our legs steady and walk into His wonderful reality. We are experiencing what it means in the 11th Step, to have a conscious contact with God. We are awake and no longer sleepwalking.

Written by James Miller


Father God, Help me to be conscious of what is happening within me and how I react to others. Wake me up and keep me in reality. Take me out of the fantasy world I have made for myself so that I can live with you in your perfect reality. Amen.

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