Recovering people tend to have thoughts that are in opposition to each other. Having two thoughts that are in direct contradiction to each other is referred to as dichotomous thinking. We have a longing to be loved, but we hide behind words and wear masks to protect our secrets. We tell others we are fine when things are not fine. We long to be known, but we hide our real selves.
Recovery offers a way out of dichotomous thinking. In recovery, we learn how to be transparent, open, honest, and real. There are people in our recovery groups who have stopped playing hide and seek. They have taken off the masks and have chosen to be authentic, not superficial, in relationships with others. We are naturally drawn to people who no longer hide, and who show genuine character. Recovery is a process of coming out of hiding.
Being real means that we are vulnerable in our relationships. We don’t open ourselves up to everyone, but we have people in our lives with who we are completely honest. We learn what to share in our recovery groups and what to share with our sponsors. We are growing in our relationships with Christ and our relationships with others. We allow others to love us just how we are. We experience what it is like to love and to be loved.
Written by Jackell.